20091216

on writing poetry (and, potentially, flash fiction)

i'm more of a premature ejaculator.

- yeah, i meant to put 'writer' somewhere in there.
i don't really have the stamina for a prolonged gestation and buildup to climax. sometimes ill blow my load in the first couplet and the rest of the piece is just because, just necessary background, just 'of course.' an example of cobain's 'hangover' in "dumb." just a right-there-with-me experience of my fall from grace, living the hangover, the effect of peaking at 5 years old: "oh, he's going to be fabulous. really. look at these reading scores: he's reading at a 3rd grade level! his favorite animal is the cheetah! if he continues his love of learning, the world will know his name!"

gross.

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"Seeing that before long I must confront humanity with the most difficult demand ever made of it, it seems indispensable to me to say who I am. Really, one should know it, for I have not left myself "without testimony." But the disproportion between the greatness of my task and the smallness of my contemporaries has found expression in the fact that one has neither heard nor even seen me. I live on my own credit; is it perhaps a mere prejudice that I live? ... I need only to speak with one of the "educated" who come to the Upper Engadine for the summer, and I am convinced that I do not live ... Under these circumstances I have a duty against which my habits, even more the pride of my instincts, revolt at bottom, namely, to say: Hear me! For I am such and such a person. Above all, do not mistake me for someone else!" - Nietzsche, Ecce Homo