The Big Hurt Hits 500

I guess I'll break out of my malaise and celebrate The Big Hurt, Frank Thomas' 500th career home run. Six foot five and a little under 1/7 of a ton, the man was the best right handed hitter in the 1990's (Average season: 185 hits, 36 HR, 123 RBI, .320 BA, 127 BB, 103 R). From 1991 to 1997, in each season Frank hit at least .300, 30 HR, 100 RBI, 100 BB, and 100 Runs Scored. The only players in baseball history to equal these standards are legends Lou Gehrig, Ted Williams, and the now tarnished Jason Giambi - and they only matched them for four consecutive seasons. Not only was he a feared power hitter, he was a fantastic contact hitter and possessed one of the best eyes in the league, evidenced by his high batting average and walk totals. Also, it wasn't until 2002 that his K totals surpassed his BB totals, and in the 90's only eclipsed the 100 barrier once in 1991 (112), a season where he amassed 138 BB's. His career OBP of .423 ranks him 16th all-time and 3rd among active players. His career OPS (which is really a strong indicator of overall offensive worth) of .985 ranks 11th all-time. 'Hurt' also has two league MVP awards, which he won in back-to-back fashion in '93 and '94, and really should have won a third award in 2001 given the steroid revelations of winner Jason Giambi. That third award would have all but guaranteed his enshrinement in Cooperstown as no three time winner is not in the HOF (the list includes Yogi Berra, Roy Campanella, Joe DiMaggio, Jimmie Foxx, Mickey Mantle, and Mike Schmidt). But despite this, and despite his full-time DH-hood (hasn't played 1B more than 49 games since '97 when he played 97), it's pretty clear the man is a first ballot HOF on the basis of his hitting merits alone. And of course, there's always the fact that there are absolutely no steroid suspicions clouding the perception of his perfomance: Frank's always been a massive human being.

Congrats, big man. I'm still going to name my first born son Frank Thomas Lazaroff. I'm willing to trade the rights to years of marital decisions for this. Guess I just need to find a woman who'll have me, but don't worry Frank I'm not going to put a blemish on this exciting day by going "there". You were a massive part of my childhood and will always be my favorite baseball player of all-time. I still tear up when I watch the video of your speech at the World Series Rally. Moving stuff, man. I wish you could have hit 500 in a Sox uniform, but such is the world we live in. We can't always get what we want.