september 18, 2010 11:00 pm - september 19, 2010 4:40 am (or, hugging at 186,000 miles per second)

white noise and a salt and pepper television set screen
a guitar god plays a single incendiary guitar lick
over and over
overandover

it has begun

i am fetal and prone and smiling, now.

now, i am stretched out, taut, extremities aching
your body is holdin mine
but
for oneone millionth of a second and then
and then out
and then back
and then out
my toes are splayed in wait
for the next one millionth of a second
where i will know



this is a completely flaccid orgasm
this memory
the almost rupturing leg muscles, the medial collateral, posterior cruciate, anterior cruciate ligaments, my quivering achilles waiting anticipating yearning feeling a feeling of a memory of a feeling
its a little bit like
its a little bit like
its a little bit like
no its everything like
a time i thought would be all the time and now is just a time that no longer is except when i call it up from the grave with seances held in dark basements with lou reed intoning: shiny shiny boots of leather shiny shiny shiny boots of leather i am tired i am weary i could sleep for a thousand years a thousand dreams that would awake me
my body shakes as the taut line slackens and nico who is really you and you interject and ask me to please put down my hands because you see me
my heart's arms are vigorously composing the rhythm and melody
of yours arms wrapped tightly around my own arms wrapped tightly around your own arms wrapped tightly wrapped tightly

i am completely lucid when i say i am absolutely out of my gourd
i feel such polarity
my beings fabric stretches the impasse
so
i bounce up and down upon it
like a class of children at recess
i am completely lucid when i say i am absolutely out of my gourd
each cigarette is ballast to keep feet and ground in commune
i dont want to ever stop remembering how it was to hold you for even a millionth of a second
and my big toes reach over and press down on their neighbors doorbell as you return
and are gone
return
and are gone
return
and are gone
return
and are gone

i am laying on the couch listening to holly miranda and yoko
taut as a bed sheet stretching the equator to antarctica
aching from round upon round of millionth of a second hugs
this millionth of a second is the entire blanket i am wrapped in
looped and on repeat my index finger on repeat hitting the button
it has become inextricable with the fabric of my being
and now its gone again

i have to get up and walk around.

(but alas
the world out there
away from your millionth of a second hugs
is filled with you sidling up
is filled with you saddling up
but its only a waking quaking dream
with undertow for days
my smiling face swirling down
my arms clawing skywards, landwards, out


god, i'm so frightened.
god, i'm very very frightening.
i've overdone it
i hope some people like burnt toast)

have you seen
these people that must crane to identify
these people that place heads at waists
these people
boring ocular drones at your books cover

they are interesting people, no doubt.
we could call them 'readers', surely,
if our thing is putting caps on heads
if our thing is lining books on shelves
if we wanna get strung out
without

i dont want to finish.

these people
so northsoutheastwest eager
who are they
these people
that will look at you
if you hide your cover

why:  why wont you turn

just a little, 

towards me

dancing with 'bilar'

the air gets hot and sticky
in september running barefoot
i cant forget the summers smell
i can hear your voice in those speakers
soft and humble, weary and yearning
:42 tumble dried, spry
tumble dried, spry
tumble dried, spry
tumble dried, spry
tumble dried, spry
tumble dried, spry
tumble dried, spry
tumble dried, spry
tumble dried, spry
tumble dried, spry
tumble dried, spry
tumble dried, spry
~1:30
i can walk
i can walk
i can walk
i can walk
i can walk
i can walk
to the drive thru
or i can walk
to the beach
or i can walk
to your dentist's or
i can ride my bike
and you can ride on my pegs
2:15

2:45 i can run up and down your stairs leading to floors that dont exist to floors that do exist and are fitted in ikea to floors that dont exist except only in your mind which is kind of existence in the same way exiting the womb is kind of existence to floors that do exist and are flush with friendly ghosts and bleeding then breathing then smiling then laughing humans to floors with no busts of god to floors with halls filled with paintings of our valiant, courageous defeats and euphoric victories to floors that to floors that to floors that to floors that to floors that to floors to floors that to floors to floors that floors that



tumble dried, spry
tumble dried spry
tumble dried, spry
tumble dried, spry
tumble dried, spry
tumble dried, spry
tumble dried, spry
tumble dried, spry
tumble dried, spry
tumble dried, spry
tumble dried, spry
tumble dried, spry
tumble dried, spry
soft and humble, weary and yearning
i can hear your voice in those speakers
i cant forget the summers smell
in september running barefoot
the air got hot and sticky
the moon winked at the sun
and said dont fret
we'll play again soon
we'll play again soon
we'll play again soon
we'll play again soon
:08

from whence, or whom, this came...i know not

each day
i convince myself not to believe
cuz i cant remember what
i wrote first
when and where and what we stepped in
was all i had or needed or wanted
then


then
was all i had or needed or wanted
when and where and what we stepped in
i wrote first
cuz i cant remember what
i convince myself not to believe
each day