can survive with anyone
long as ya have enough drugs around
people are laughter
people are bodies
can survive with anyone
if you have enough drugs around

when i feel the warmth
rushing through my brain
feels like i'm striking every last frame
feels like i'm rolling a 300 game
in sunny bumpered up alleys
the porcelain here is cleaner than god

there's no distinction
you cannot make
there's no person
you can't explain away
there's no heart
that isn't beating
no cloudy souls
when you have enough drugs around

dancing in crowds
looking around
seeing all smiles
the best place to look
is just up up and down
ooh, ooh
if there's enough drugs around
ooh, ooh
if there's enough drugs around

forget your heart with every turn
i dont wanna run
i just really have to burn
do you, do you have some drugs around?
hey man, you got somethin to cop?
i sure could use something for these memories

when i feel the warmth
rushing to my heart
feels like i'm striking every last frame
feels like i'm rolling a 300 game
in sunny bumpered up alleys
the porcelain here is cleaner than god

there's no distinction
you cannot make
there's no person
you can't explain away
there's no heart
that isn't beating
no soul vacuumed when
you have enough drugs around

when i feel the warmth
rushing to my heart
feels like i'm striking every last frame
feels like i'm rolling a 300 game
in sunny bumpered up alleys
the porcelain here is cleaner than god

you're always late
i'm always early
first thing to learn is
always gotta wait

letter to a future love

dear,

sitting next to her in bed

thinking of the woman and mother she was . . .

she mutters now.

mumbles, stutters, babbling

off in a language, in a world

she only senses and does not know.

“now – here’s where it tells you everything.”

i hope she is talking to God.

i don’t believe in God,

but i hope she is talking to God.

for a breath i assume His Transcendent Existence,

but run away cursing

his bleak, everyday

manic depression.

still, her smiling face shines my memory:

i see her look down into tangled covers,

reminding it’s time to go somewhere cool,

and all i want is to be there now,

and not here,

watching her departure

through sagging skin,

through inane smiles,

through lost thoughts.

i wish you could have known her,

aside from my salty floods,

aside from my paragraph home movies,

aside from my smile in profile,

and what it does to my nose.

i wish she could have seen you

smile at me smiling at you smiling at me,

and i wish she could have seen

the battles we wash off our necks,

like she did cake off my lip corners.

i wish you could have known her

before triple-negative,

before metastatic and inoperable,

before incurable,

before cancer coursed,

and these words became the Himalayas.

love of mine,

lover of me:

what hurts most

in The Time of All Encompassing Heart Hurt

is that you’re not here yet,

is that i am all alone,

and you’ll never know

my other best friend.

yours,

me

there's not much light outside
except for wet soon to be water ice,
reflecting the moonlight despite
my sea of oak branches dismembering

this short tortured bright lights enough
of our shared space so that i may
understand for a moment, a thought,
my own plaintive whispering, lightly, a transient