20130820

Want vs. Sight


Sometimes, something will happen,
and Thinking says,
“This is changing Me into More Me.”

I am becoming Me!
Discovery is creation!
O, warm bloody and flourished life,
I adore thee!
The concrete beneath is a trampoline!

Then, a broken necked raven lost
& crashed illmellifluous
jars the view.

Can’t. So goddamn much can’t
the CDC came round
to make sure I don’t spread.
Pesticide. Vaccine. Antidote! I wanna be
fucking fertilizer! I wanna be
SOIL!

Inertia sears into immutability.
The doctors say nothing can touch me.
Need. Want. So desperately for anything to touch and just stay.
But mine eyes have seen
the gory of the bowing of the lords:
the smallest meaningfuls send all
sailors vomiting to the rails,
or worse, in their own stupor, so diligently remiss
are we to be touched in anyway that is not implicitly escaping touch.

I can’t want to see what Hamlet couldn’t unsee
in Yorick’s unflinching eyes, in his father’s putrescent shadow,
 acrid, stark dialectics
& briny B/W fetishes,
pickling vice to virtue&back,
so I can’t unsee this quintessence of dust
blotting out the moon.

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"Seeing that before long I must confront humanity with the most difficult demand ever made of it, it seems indispensable to me to say who I am. Really, one should know it, for I have not left myself "without testimony." But the disproportion between the greatness of my task and the smallness of my contemporaries has found expression in the fact that one has neither heard nor even seen me. I live on my own credit; is it perhaps a mere prejudice that I live? ... I need only to speak with one of the "educated" who come to the Upper Engadine for the summer, and I am convinced that I do not live ... Under these circumstances I have a duty against which my habits, even more the pride of my instincts, revolt at bottom, namely, to say: Hear me! For I am such and such a person. Above all, do not mistake me for someone else!" - Nietzsche, Ecce Homo